Cry
by Izzu
Summary: Makai Senki: Based on events in episode 17 to 21. Kouga told himself he wouldn't make Kaoru cry again. Yet, he did it again.


az: My initial idea was to relate the events in Ougon Kishi to Makai Senki, but the plot just went outta my hand. Not sure how it would read well... but here goes~

* * *

Cry

By honou-no-izumi alias Izzu alias Izumi Ishtar

o

o

_"You don't have to say anything..."_

_"I would have understood even if you didn't say anything,"_

He made her cry again, he didn't want that to happen once more. But it did. And yet again... he didn't know what to do to make it better.

He couldn't run after her, what use would that be? If he did, he'll break her heart even more. In return, it'll break his own heart again. He couldn't afford even that luxury now, or else everything will end just like that.

xxx

Back then... it was the same.

At first, that immature him told Zaruba that he's making her to be a bait for horrors. Because he refused to admit to Zaruba that he refused to kill her because she was an innocent girl who didn't deserve to die so soon. How could he... when he had vowed to protect people from horrors? Yes, he told the people who made him be a knight that he would abide to the rules... since it was there for a reason. But back then, he had no one... no single person that he want to especially keep safe. Defeating Horrors was a duty... he had no greater reason to fight other than what he was told. Until... he met Kaoru.

A part of him used to be angry at her... for not being able to escape the gallery while he confronted Anglay. Because if she did, she wouldn't have been showered with the horror's blood and be endangered. But after so many things happening, he realised that there's no way he could have avoided it. That time... that barrier, it must have been Barago who put it up. Since he needed 'a woman stained in horror's blood' to achieve his goals. Barago used her _and_ him to get what he wanted.

Even then, Kouga wouldn't have wanted anything of _that_ past to change. Because he couldn't bear imagining what his life would have been like, if he hadn't met Kaoru. Without warning, Kaoru have become an important person in his heart.

"_Because back then... I was able to see you..."_

Yet there was still something he regretted doing, making Kaoru cry so much before.

He wanted Kaoru to be happy, he didn't want to scare her with telling her that her life could come to its end much sooner than she thought. She had such a great dream... he didn't want to crash her hope. He also didn't want her to live the remaining days of her life fearing that a stray horror could come and eat her. That's why he didn't tell her. It's not because of making her a bait, yet by letting her walk around clueless of her own perils; he did end up making her just that. When the horror Haru accused him of using Kaoru to catch her, he had nothing to deny that claim with because that was the truth. When Kaoru asked him if he made her a bait as well in the past, even if he didn't; he couldn't tell that to Kaoru to make her feel better. Because by letting her free to go about, not knowing that her mere presence could attract Horrors to attack her; he might as well have done exactly that.

No amount of explanation he could've given her could ever make it right, he might as well shoulder all of the accusation. Because despite everything he didn't want Kaoru to feel despair by finding out that she was dying. But even that didn't go well and Kaoru still found out about it. He always wanted to try explaining to her about everything... but he always find it hard to do it.

_"You don't have to say anything..."_

Luckily back then he did save Kaoru and things did become better. And he had vowed since then that he wouldn't make her cry. But this whole business with the seal of destruction had to happen.

Kouga really... didn't want Kaoru to cry again because of him!

xxx

He didn't go to check on Kaoru to see if she was alright since then, because he thought he should focus with the matter at hand first. That he'll settle the whole business with Fudou Sigma and find a way to stop him as well as cancel the seal of destruction placed onto all of the Makai knights. Then, maybe then... he could see Kaoru again. At least by then, he'd have something happy to tell her. That she wouldn't have to worry about him dying because the seal would have been undone already.

But right now...

Kouga struggled in vain as his body was being forced to be assimilated into Gyanon's corpse. He was scared. He wished that Rei and Leo would come sooner and break him out of this situation...

_Kaoru...!_

Kouga shook his body as he forced out Rekka's Makai Dragon out of his jacket to seek help. Desperately, he wished for someone to save him... because he couldn't do it by himself. Desperately, he wanted to see _her_.

Since he promised himself he wouldn't make Kaoru cry because of him again...


End file.
